And a Merry @$%#ing Christmas to You, Too

To the jerks at Peoples Church in Fresno:

When you are driving out of your Christmas Eve service all pumped up on your precious baby Jesus, you really ought to keep your eyes open for the people who are (no thanks to you) actually living and breathing around you. One of your oblivious jackass worshipers almost ran over me a while ago while I was out for a run. This would be at the driveway where you all spill out onto Alluvial Avenue like a bunch of drunks who just imbibed too much Holy Spirit. Thanks.

Funny thing, I’m guessing you have similar problems in the driveway at Cedar and Spruce because you recently installed signs there directing pedestrians to cross the street to avoid walking in front of your cars. I notice there’s also a sign for exiting vehicles reminding you to look both ways before you exit. Really? Really?

Are you people so stupid and oblivious when you’re leaving your church you can’t even automatically follow the rules of the road that you need an extra sign to tell you what to do and you need to make the pedestrians walk somewhere else? You can’t just, like, do what you’re supposed to do and give pedestrians the right of way? Pay attention?

Or is it, you know, because watching out for pedestrians is “man’s law” and not “God’s law”?

Or are you just oblivious jerks?

Maybe I’m just extra pissed off because one of your people almost ran over me just now, but seriously, I couldn’t ask for a better object lesson demonstrating what is exactly wrong with religious people, particularly you white bread evangelical Christians. You are so preoccupied with your God that you fail to note other people who, unlike your God, are visible. Except, apparently, when they are in front of your car after a church service.

And while I’m lambasting you for being bad neighbors and unfriendly to pedestrians, I should also point out how annoying it is that you apparently can’t manage to get a sidewalk installed along Cedar Avenue, so pedestrians like myself have to contend with a slippery, muddy path in the middle of an otherwise delightful neighborhood where everybody else has these newfangled things called “sidewalks” (they’re made of concrete and they’re great for walking on). But wait, there’s more! Not only do you not have a sidewalk there, but you stick that big ugly triangular sign right in the middle of the dirt so pedestrians have to maneuver around it. Funny thing, there’s a huge empty grass area immediately adjacent that I have never seen being used where your sign would fit just perfectly.

Oh well. We’ve established that you clearly don’t give a rat’s ass about the people who live in your neighborhood. (Although I’m sure you’d welcome me with open arms if I was interested getting myself infected with your ridiculous religion.)

Yeah. So merry @$%#ing Christmas to you, too, Peoples Church. Try not to run me over anymore. Or maybe imagine there’s no heaven, no religion, too—and the rest of us are right here in front of your blind eyes.