An Age of Prohibitions

Find twenty minutes to watch this video of a talk by Larry Lessig. I say find twenty minutes because you will need to watch the whole thing in order to get the full impact of what he’s saying. The beginning is amusing, the middle is entertaining, and the end is almost infuriating. But it’s good.

That’s What Christmas Is About

I can’t decide if this is heartbreaking, offensive, or hilarious.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Aq00yJSxo]

The kid sums it up pretty succinctly: “A lot can happen. You can think.” Yes.

And the dad just sits there saying nothing.

Oh No He Di’n’t!

Says Stephen King:

I think there ought to be some serious discussion by smart people, really smart people, about whether or not proliferation of things like The Smoking Gun and TMZ and YouTube and the whole celebrity culture is healthy. We’ve switched from a culture that was interested in manufacturing, economics, politics — trying to play a serious part in the world — to a culture that’s really entertainment-based. I mean, I know people who can tell you who won the last four seasons on American Idol and they don’t know who their f—— Representatives are.

You gotta have some chutzpah to be an entertainment creator like Stephen King and take shots at our culture for being unhealthily entertainment-based, but I think he’s on the right track.

Meanwhile, it seems that hope for a turnaround on this issue is a long shot—people aren’t reading anymore. People who aren’t reading aren’t participating in public discourse.

If You Must Be Irrational, Keep It To Yourself

Now, from the religion that brought us the Mohammad Cartoon Riots, we have the Teddy Bear Named Mohammad Prosecution.

Mrs Gibbons, 54, allowed her seven-year-old pupils at the Unity School in Khartoum to name their class teddy bear Mohammed.

She was arrested on Sunday on suspicion of insulting Islam’s prophet after a complaint was made to Sudan’s Ministry of Education.

. . .

If she is found guilty she could be given 40 lashes, a fine or a six-month jail term.

Again, the astonishing irrationality of the religious mind rears its head. Hey, religious people: What kind of pansy-ass prophet or god or other revered figure is so pathetic that you need to go around distributing corporal punishment, pecuniary fines, or imprisonment in order to defend him, her, or it?

We here in the United States of America are a little less afflicted with this kind of idiocy, but only a little less. You know that Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, who is “surging” in the Iowa polls? He said this about ten years ago:

In 1998, Huckabee told a Baptist convention that “I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ,” and explained why he gave up pastoring for political campaigning: “I didn’t get into politics because I thought government had a better answer. I got into politics because I knew government didn’t have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives.”

You don’t have to go too far to get from that kind of lunacy to the Sudanese kind of lunacy, where you prohibit certain names for teddy bears and prosecute violators because you think they have insulted your religion. If some people believe that “accepting Jesus Christ into our lives” is the only “real answer” to whatever problems we have, then what happens when those people can sustain their hold on our political processes? Will they deconstruct our government and rebuild it as a theocracy, doling out penalties to those who refuse to play along?

Individuals may believe that their lives are better if they “accept Jesus Christ into their lives.” That’s fine. Individuals may believe that others insult their religion. That’s fine. But using political, judicial, and penal processes to impose those beliefs on others who do not share them, by choice or by nature or for whatever reason, is not conducive to an effective society that benefits all of its participants.

Political, judicial, and penal processes should conform as close as possible with only those things upon which all or almost all of us agree. (I think John Rawls called this “overlapping consensus.”) We do not all agree that Jesus Christ is the solution (or even that he is “the Christ”). Apparently, even in Muslim Sudan, not everyone agrees that naming teddy bears “Mohammad” is a bad thing. Therefore, those things are clearly outside the realm of civil politics.

People need to think more carefully about these issues, instead of just turning the government into their own private instrument for the advancement of some agenda. Communicate more, read more books and blogs, find out where are your views lie on the spectrum of idiosyncrasy. If they’re way out there in crazy-land, then keep them out of your politics. If they’re close with everybody else’s, like “killing other people ain’t cool,” then let them into your politics. If they’re somewhere in between and you’re not sure, just be reasonable and willing to compromise

At any rate, Mrs. Gibbons certainly does not deserve a flogging, a fine, or imprisonment for letting a bunch of seven-year-olds name their class bear Mohammed.

Our President, the Fetterer

President Bush thinks the recent breakthrough in stem cell research is his fault.  In his mind, if he hadn’t come and stirred up the waters by putting politics into the mix, the science wouldn’t have worked out. Or something.

Huh?

That’s got to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard from this administration. The end goal of stem cell research remains the same. The only thing that might be different is whether embryos need to be destroyed to get useful stem cells. It’s as if scientists were faced with a ramp or a ladder, looked at the ramp and said, “Hey, let’s go that way!” But then comes all these lunatics like the President who think there’s something special or sacred about little clumps of cells, many of which are just sitting around in freezers doing absolutely nothing and most likely destined to keep doing absolutely nothing, and they say, “No! You can’t take the ramp! You have to get on that ladder! Now git!”  So the scientists, with their funding cut, take the ladder.

There’s no appreciable difference in the end goal. It’s the same. Develop extraordinary treatments for all manner of ailments.

Nothing I’ve read about the skin cell stem cell thing indicates that we can do anything special with the new method that we couldn’t have done with the old destroy-the-spare-embryos method, except now the lunatics who really love their precious little blastocysts rejoice that they can have it both ways—the benefits of science and the comforts of their irrational superstitions. (But I could be wrong about the comparison between the actual potentials of the two methods; if you can disabuse me of the notion, do so in the comment area.)

So what can the president pat himself on the back about? Obfuscation. He made the science go up a ladder when it could have taken a ramp. Or gone up a ramp when it could have taken a ladder. However you want to see it. Seems to make no difference to me. There’s just this imaginary “ethical” issue that may have been sidestepped. Whoopty-freakin-do.

Senator Arlen Specter has it right (see first link above):

I really don’t think anybody ought to take credit in light of the six-year delay we’ve had…. My own view is that science ought to be unfettered and that every possible alternative ought to be explored.

Indeed.

Another Reason Why Verizon is a Two-Bit Operation

When I ditched Verizon in favor of AT&T to get an iPhone, I had to cancel my contract early. Mobile telephone carriers claim the only way they can make money is by using these two-year contracts, to lock us into their services on pain of an early termination fee, and by crippling their devices so we can’t use them to their full potential. I think mobile telephone carriers are just a bunch of uncreative idiots who need to come up with a business model that does not involve screwing their customers and hindering technological development as a matter of policy. But I digress.

At any rate, I dumped Verizon and the early termination fee became due. No problem. I didn’t pay it right away, but waited until they sent me a letter, which I have in front of me. It says, in relevant part:

For your convenience, you can pay by phone by dialing our toll free number below. We accept checks, debit cards and most major credit cards. Payments can be made 24 hours a day, free of charge.

. . .

Verizon Wireless Customer Financial Services

1-866-266-1446

(Italics added.)

So what does that tell you? It says, “You can call us any time, day or night, at this number, input your credit card number over the phone, and make your payment.” Right?

So here’s what happens when I call their number:

1. I dial the number above.
2. “Welcome to Verizon Wireless! [Spanish instructions.] You have reached financial services. Please enter your five-digit billing ZIP code.”
3. I enter my ZIP code.
4. “Your call may be recorded for quality and training purposes. Please hold while we connect your call.”
5. “Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless. You have reached the financial services department. We are currently closed. Please call back during our normal business hours.”
6. My call is disconnected.

Funny thing, I thought their letter said I could call “24 hours a day.” Last time I checked, 10:00 AM is one of the usual 24 hours in a day. Jack-holes.

It’s even more ridiculous that they ask for my ZIP code before they tell me they’re closed. What stupid fools designed this system? The system tells me before it asks for my ZIP code that I have reached the financial services department. Why keep the call going from there? Why bother asking for my ZIP code? Again, who are the morons who designed this system?

But it gets better. Since I can’t seem to pay over the phone, I headed for their website. A few clicks into the site, I finally come across this amateur-ish screen:

Do you see how it says “Total Amount due -” and then “Pay Other Amount -” and there’s a field where you an enter an amount? What do you think that means? Well, first it means that whoever made this screen doesn’t care about presentation, because he or she forgot to capitalize “due” so it matches every other word up there. More importantly, however, it looks like you have a choice, similar to the one I have when I pay my credit card bill online: if you choose “Total Amount due,” then it just bills your card for the balance owing on the account; if you want to pay something else, you enter it in the field. Right? The weird little hyphens don’t help, either.

Anyway, I want to pay the total amount due and I want to use a “Credit/Debit/ATM Card” so I click “Next.” Here’s what I get:

Huh? There is no amount entered because I want to pay the “Total Amount due,” you idiots. But whatever. I’ll play along. So I click in the field. Guess what happens? The radio button next to “Total Amount due -” is automatically de-selected and the one next to “Pay Other Amount -” is automatically selected. Yes, that’s right. It’s not possible to just pay the “Total Amount due.” That choice is meaningless. Again, what imbeciles designed this system?

But it gets better, because now I need to figure out what amount to put in. The balance owing appears nowhere on the screen. Maybe that’s why they have that “See prior payment activity” link. So I click that. Does it show my balance? No! So I have to either navigate away from that screen, find my balance, and write it down, or look for that deceitful letter with the worthless phone number to get the balance from there. Argh. Do you people want my payment or don’t you?

Anyway, I finally figure out what I want to pay. Sweet. Enter the number. Curse the idiots who designed the website. Put in my card number, expiration date, and so on. Read the little agreement, click “Accept.” Then I get this:

What the hell does that mean? And does saying “No MTN available” three times make it better or something? “We were unable to process your payment for the reason(s) listed.” Right. Except your “reason(s)” make(s) no freaking sense. So I googled “No MTN available” to see if I could find out what it means. No help there.

I tried calling what their website holds out as a general customer service number. That doesn’t work either. Argh.

I finally went to one of their brick-and-mortar stores, where I still had to do a good deal of haranguing before they would bother to figure out a way to take a payment from me. First they said they could only take cash payments in the store. WTF? Who carries cash?

Then they told me to use the website or do it over the phone. No, I said, those things are not working. They didn’t believe me. They called the number right there in front of me, probably hoping to prove me wrong. Nope. Same result I got.

Then they tried to send me to their corporate store on the other side of town. Right. So I harangued some more. “Why can’t you people take a credit card payment right here? That’s ridiculous! Do you even want my payment?”

Finally, the peon employee got on the phone and called Verizon’s support number and went to some other menu I was not able to access when I called from my phone. She said it was because my phone didn’t register as a Verizon number. Ridiculous. What’s even more ridiculous is that she didn’t even have an internal corporate number to call. She had to call their publicly available customer support number and go through all their goofy menus. What’s the deal with that?

Meanwhile, as she’s waiting on hold, she says, “Can I see your iPhone? I’ve never seen one.” I let her play with mine for a couple minutes. “That’s so cool,” she said. Yes. It is. About a thousand times cooler than any of the crap devices Verizon sells. That’s why people are willing to shell out four hundred bucks for it. Most mobile phones are subsidized by the carrier so people can get them at low or no cost. You know why? Because they’re lame devices that nobody in their right mind would pay for outright. The iPhone, on the other hand, is worth paying for.

At any rate, she finally got them to process my payment. “There, we aren’t that bad, are we?” she said. And as I walked out the door, I said, “I’m just glad to be done with you.”

One hopes that’s the end of my dealings with Verizon.

Why Apple is Better

When I was with Verizon and my mobile phone went wonky, I took it to a Verizon store. The dunderhead there pulled out my battery, told me there was a red dot indicating water damage, refused to trust me when I told him truthfully that my phone had been nowhere near water, and said my only choice was to buy a new phone. He wouldn’t explain anything about the mysterious dot and he wouldn’t tell me anything other than “Buy a new phone.”

Now I have an iPhone and my carrier is AT&T. A couple days ago, the keyboard in Safari started acting up. So after making an appointment yesterday, this morning I took my iPhone to the Apple Store in the Fashion Fair Mall in Fresno.

The first thing the Apple person did that the Verizon dunderhead did not was listen to me. She let me explain what my phone was doing. (If you’re curious, go read this person’s description. It’s exactly what mine was doing.) That’s always a good thing with tech support: listen to your flippin’ customers. Don’t just go monkeying with the hardware to look for some mysterious indicator dot. Customers want to be treated like people. Apple knows how to do that; Verizon does not.

Next, she explained to me what she would do: erase the iPhone and restore the software to see if that fixed the problem; otherwise, she would have to swap it out for another iPhone. Cool, no problem. Then she pulled out a MacBook, turned it we could both see the display, plugged in my iPhone, opened iTunes, and did a full restore of the software. That’s something else Verizon people don’t do. They hide behind displays that customers cannot see. That breeds mistrust. People who need tech support like enough transparency that they don’t feel like their intelligence is insulted. Apple knows how to do that; Verizon does not.

Finally, after the restore, she had me test the iPhone, determine that the problem remained, and then immediately went to the back of the store and grabbed another phone. She gave me a paper to sign indicating what she’d done, swapped out the SIM card, and sent me on my way with a fully functional iPhone. All of this transpired in under fifteen minutes. This is good. People like fast and effective service. One of the main reasons why I left Verizon is because my last experience with them was some sluggish dunderhead standing there holding my nonfunctional phone in my face and telling me, “You need to buy a new phone.” Screw you.

All of this indicates that Apple understands two fundamental things about their business that Verizon does not understand.

First, any time you mass produce something, you’re going to have a certain percentage of products that are defective in some way; the solution is not to put a goofy little “water damage” dot in the hardware so you can claim—without any further justification—that the consumer has ruined the device, rather than admitting that the manufacturing process is bound to produce a few lemons. The solution is to help customers who got a bad device.

Second, when you you are dealing with customers, deal with them as individual people, rather than wallets who happen to have an account with you. When somebody has a problem, they want you to listen to them and make the process at least feel collaborative and transparent. When people show up at Verizon stores with wonky phones and the whole process happens behind a desk, on a display that no one can see but the employee, and whatever the customer says means nothing at all, then your message is Our system is self-contained and you do not matter. It’s like corporate autism or something.

Finally, from the customer perspective, just as companies need to realize that there will always be a percentage of products with defects, customers need to realize that there will always be a percentage of problems that tech support cannot solve, or does not solve, or otherwise screws up. For instance, my brother had a bad experience with Apple and his iPod. That royally sucked. Meanwhile, I’ve had several problems with Apple products (including an iBook that died, an Airport base station that died, and now the malfunctioning iPhone) and every time it has been a breeze to get it replaced at little or no cost. The only annoying part has been that getting an iBook repaired required shipping it to Texas, so I was sans computer for a week.

Anyway, I’m glad I switched over to the iPhone with AT&T. Verizon can go down in a blaze for all I care, so long as they don’t unlawfully screw their shareholders in the process.

Kindle is Ugly and Lame

In a world where you can get something so sleek and wonderful as an iPhone, why would anybody want something so ugly and clumsy looking as Amazon’s Kindle? Twenty years ago, Kindle would have looked like a pretty sweet device. Next to an iPhone, though? Seriously. What are they thinking? Plus, if you want to read on an electronic device while on-the-go, all you have to do is whip out your iPhone, open Safari, and go find one of the numerous public domain books available for free on the internet. Swipe your finger across the glass to scroll down the page. It’s pretty cool.

And after Apple releases the developer kit for the iPhone in February, I’m betting we’ll see dedicated book-reading software pretty quickly. Who needs Kindle when, for the same price, you can get something both better looking and more useful?

All Work and No RSS Feeds Make Jack a Dull Boy

Here’s something that annoys me.

Case law develops and changes all the time. Cases come down that clarify old rules or create new rules. Here in California, anyone who practices law should know about new cases from the California Courts of Appeal, the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, the California Supreme Court, and the United States Supreme Court.

Each of those courts has a website with recent opinions: the California Courts of Appeal and Supreme Court are together on one site, the Ninth Circuit is on another site, and the United States Supreme Court is on another.

That’s all well and good. Free access to court opinions for anybody who can get online (and these days, the “who can get online” qualifier is almost unnecessary—just about anybody can get online). Super. Power to the people.

But if you’re savvy with the web these days, you might notice that each of those court websites is missing a powerful tool: an RSS feed. That’s very annoying. I want to be able to have all the court opinions in my jurisdiction dumped into an RSS feed that displays in Google Reader or in a widget on my desktop. That would be useful. Having to jump around to all these different websites is annoying.

Anyway, just something that annoys me.

Pass the Baton, Eat a Burger

This is what’s so great about America.

Once upon a time, Bill Clinton was “Leader of the Free World” (i.e., “President of the United States of America”).

Now, he participates in cheesy videos for his wife’s presidential campaign and tells hecklers to shut up. Brilliant.